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July 14th 2009 Harry Potter And The Most Boring Show On Earth. Let's get one thing straight. I am not against J K Rowling, or her creations, or her fans, for the hell of it. In some ways I think Rowling is a smart lady who has created something rather special and unique. I haven't read any of the Potter books. But I am so sick to death of Harry Potter that I want to express my despair and the nature of my irk as the world drools over the latest cinematic instalment, Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince. In 2008 I met novelist Joanne Harris, and we talked for a little while about J K Rowling. We observed that the Potter books had got progressively longer since the first instalment was published by Bloomsbury in 1997. Rowling was told that 'children's books don't make much money', a phrase that has since passed into publishing lore. In the years that followed the Harry Potter books became a phenomenon. However, it would be unfair of me to criticise the books given that I have not read them. It's the films that bug me. Having seen most of the series, I was asked by BBC Radio York to go and review one of the films a couple of years back. My irritation with it grew from several points. Firstly, the films ALWAYS end in the same way. Harry has to overcome Voldemort in some mystical showdown that involves spells, secret tunnels, 3 headed dogs etc etc. It's predictable, and tedious. Then there's the cumbersome nature of the plot intricacies. Oh dear. Spare me. Rowling got so into her fantasy world that she made the same mistake as George Lucas did in the second trilogy. The films struggle to keep afloat under the weight of their strange arcane knowledge, wisdom and politics. It's just boring. The films work best when they cut to the chase. I don't want to be too miserable. The films are well made, and they have some brilliant English actors in them, like Imelda Staunton and Michael Gambon and the excellent Alan Rickman as Snape (usually the best thing in each film). But Daniel Radcliffe possesses all the acting ability of a crash test dummy that's had its arms, legs and head torn off. He's supposed to be a dynamic and brave hero, but he just seems like a nerdy wimp most of the time. Still. These films have made truckloads of money, and are one of the most successful cinematic series in the history of genre-hopping wizards. I don't think my complaints will count for very much. But I shan't be going to see this Harry Potter film. Because it can only end in Harry having a battle with Voldemort and living to tell the tale. |
 Miles Salter, Freelance Writer /
Reflectable Ltd
2010
Miles Salter is a freelance journalist, poet and creative writing tutor. He lives in York, UK.
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